I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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