I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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