I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
