Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
