Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize