Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
