Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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