Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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