i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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