Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
