my phone needs a breathalizer
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
then he tried to convert me to islam
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
