When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
