this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
