How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Yo dont text me then not text me
I want to have your abortion
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
