i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
