i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
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