The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
