No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
