He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
