allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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