and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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