Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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