? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
