I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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