Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
