I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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