do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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