You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
