Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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