I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
