I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
