They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
