I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
