Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
