so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
