YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
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You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
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Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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