i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
