Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
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He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
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So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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