just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
