Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
