I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
