You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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