all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
