ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize