My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
