i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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