How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
