The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
