it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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