god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
