just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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