My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
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We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
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The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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