I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
