ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize