i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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