Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
