i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
