like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
