At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
