I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
