Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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