After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
