well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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