i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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