I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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