is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
