I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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