I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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