you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Randomize
