do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I will be naked everywhere
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
