I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
